Christkindlesmarkt: how it’ll go

| November 27, 2013 | Reply

This weekend we are heading to the Nüremberger Christkindlesmarkt for its opening weekend.  I plan to write up something after the weekend, but first, here is how I see it going:

  • Get in the car that Paul has spent weeks reminding me that Sequoia and I need to clean out from our last excursions in the car.
  • Attempt to leave without cleaning out the car.
  • Realize that I will need to clean out the car when Flash finds a three-week-old french fry in Sequoia’s seat.
  • Clean out the car while Paul steams.
  • Try to simultaneously load the DVD player and set the GPS, which does not work.  (But typing this sentence will not stop me from trying.)
  • After Paul can wait no longer, just enter “Nüremberg” into the GPS and start driving in that direction while I search my phone for the address of the hotel, which, according to Paul, I should have had ready before I got in the car.
  • Drive to Nüremberg while Sequoia reminds me 100 times that the word Christkindlesmarkt reminds her of the Kindle.
  • Pester Paul 65 times about whether he set the alarm that I watched him set.
  • Take a picture of how adorable Flash and Sequoia are in the back seat.
  • Two seconds later wonder how that adorable dog can emit the foulest of odors and nearly knock each passenger unconscious.  Curse him as we open the windows in sub-freezing temperatures while driving 90 mph down the Autobahn.  Pray that his anus freezes shut.
  • Arrive at charming Landhotel.  Attempt to convince Paul to walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures while I do anything but walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures.
  • Take a taxi to the market because we are patently unwilling to walk that far in sub-freezing temperatures when we have not yet found the glühwein.
  • Find the glühwein.
  • Find the bratwurst.
  • Find more glühwein.
  • Find Sequoia a giant cookie to hang around her neck and walk around gnawing on while getting hopped up on sugar.
  • See something I just have to have that is large and unwieldy, and wonder how I could possibly have forgotten the hand cart that I am now typing about but undoubtedly will forget anyway.
  • Find more glühwein and pout about the large and unwieldy thing that Paul refuses to carry for me.
  • Promise Sequoia she can go on a ride but first drag her up and down rows of kiosks while listening to her tell us we promised her she could go on a ride.
  • Point to the ride.  Promise her she can go on it.
  • Find more glühwein.
  • Take Sequoia to the ride.
  • Take a taxi back to the hotel because we cannot be trusted to remember how to get there after all that glühwein.
  • Attempt to convince Paul to walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures while I do anything but walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures.
  • Go to bed.
  • Wake.
  • Attempt to convince Paul to walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures while I do anything but walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures.
  • Wander Nüremberg and see and do the things one should see and do when in Nüremberg.
  • Return to Christkindlesmarkt.
  • See above.  Repeat.

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Category: Family Travel, In Germany A Broad blog, Shits & Giggles

About the Author ()

Kari Martindale is a writer and ESL instructor. She’s visited all 50 states and 37 countries, including many of the big cities of Europe and a ton of Christmas Markets. She spends her days straddling the fence between a sense of adventure and a sense of dread. She is married to what is clearly a patient man and has a daughter who, frustratingly, is just like her. Her academic and professional backgrounds are in linguistics and foreign languages. When she's not teaching ESL, she's writing. When she's not writing, she's thinking about her next trip.

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