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This weekend we are heading to the Nüremberger Christkindlesmarkt for its opening weekend. I plan to write up something after the weekend, but first, here is how I see it going:
- Get in the car that Paul has spent weeks reminding me that Sequoia and I need to clean out from our last excursions in the car.
- Attempt to leave without cleaning out the car.
- Realize that I will need to clean out the car when Flash finds a three-week-old french fry in Sequoia’s seat.
- Clean out the car while Paul steams.
- Try to simultaneously load the DVD player and set the GPS, which does not work. (But typing this sentence will not stop me from trying.)
- After Paul can wait no longer, just enter “Nüremberg” into the GPS and start driving in that direction while I search my phone for the address of the hotel, which, according to Paul, I should have had ready before I got in the car.
- Drive to Nüremberg while Sequoia reminds me 100 times that the word Christkindlesmarkt reminds her of the Kindle.
- Pester Paul 65 times about whether he set the alarm that I watched him set.
- Take a picture of how adorable Flash and Sequoia are in the back seat.
- Two seconds later wonder how that adorable dog can emit the foulest of odors and nearly knock each passenger unconscious. Curse him as we open the windows in sub-freezing temperatures while driving 90 mph down the Autobahn. Pray that his anus freezes shut.
- Arrive at charming Landhotel. Attempt to convince Paul to walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures while I do anything but walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures.
- Take a taxi to the market because we are patently unwilling to walk that far in sub-freezing temperatures when we have not yet found the glühwein.
- Find the glühwein.
- Find the bratwurst.
- Find more glühwein.
- Find Sequoia a giant cookie to hang around her neck and walk around gnawing on while getting hopped up on sugar.
- See something I just have to have that is large and unwieldy, and wonder how I could possibly have forgotten the hand cart that I am now typing about but undoubtedly will forget anyway.
- Find more glühwein and pout about the large and unwieldy thing that Paul refuses to carry for me.
- Promise Sequoia she can go on a ride but first drag her up and down rows of kiosks while listening to her tell us we promised her she could go on a ride.
- Point to the ride. Promise her she can go on it.
- Find more glühwein.
- Take Sequoia to the ride.
- Take a taxi back to the hotel because we cannot be trusted to remember how to get there after all that glühwein.
- Attempt to convince Paul to walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures while I do anything but walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures.
- Go to bed.
- Wake.
- Attempt to convince Paul to walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures while I do anything but walk Flash in the sub-freezing temperatures.
- Wander Nüremberg and see and do the things one should see and do when in Nüremberg.
- Return to Christkindlesmarkt.
- See above. Repeat.
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