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TOP TEN REASONS TO BE EXCITED THAT KARNEVAL IS COMING TO TOWN
-You’ve been waiting all year to see if the woman who walked around town with a wig made of rigatoni last year is going to use a different pasta this year.
-Ten straight days of booze.
-You get to buy really weird shit in town
-People walk around in costume and hats every day, for 10 days, like it’s normal.
-Eventually, so do you.
-So.much.candy.
-You can’t wait for all the little dwarf doors in town to open up for par-tay time and the bank to turn into a disco.
-Parades going down your street.
-Children playing ball hockey and men playing tennis in the street whether the street is closed or open to traffic.
-TEN STRAIGHT DAYS OF BOOZE.
TOP FIVE REASONS TO BE WARY THAT KARNEVAL IS COMING
-Thanks to Facebook and blogging, “What happens at Karneval stays at Karneval” doesn’t apply.
-You’ll be doing a lot more sidewalk sweeping and cleaning up plastic shotglasses from your front yard.
-You’re not looking forward to coming home with a mysterious cut that a relatively sober person really should remember getting.
-You still have vivid memories of nearly getting run over by a float on Rosenmontag.
-The port-a-potty going up across the street. Because gross.
