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On our way home from Liechtenstein last weekend, we drove into Austria looking for a hike. We would be driving along the Bodensee, which we’d biked last summer. This did not look like the Bodensee we saw last summer.
Leaving Liechtenstein, we were in search of a nice hike like the one we’d taken the day before.
Instagram post: Old
#checkpoints are unmanned, yet my heart still races a little when I approach.#europe#travel https://instagram.com/p/zrgaA-OzNr/
Hoping for something directly on the path home, my husband found some information about Pfänder, a Wildpark near Bregenz, Austria. Hike, animals, Alps. Sounds perfect. What more could a family want?
Sequoia took lovely pictures of the snow out her window as we wound up the mountain.
It was freezing rain outside, which did not bode well for our hike, but damnit, we live in Germany now. We layer ourselves and spend time outdoors regardless of the elements, like the Germans. As we pulled into the parking lot, we noticed a man. It’s the kind of man you can’t help but notice, because he’s topless in the snow.
None of us was thrilled about the freezing rain, but we donned all of our cold weather layers and set off.
Tweet:
#hiking in freezing#rain: not one of my better ideas
It was a half hour hike from parking lot to entrance.
Tweet: Even the most miserable parts of
#hiking are better than a treadmill.#truth
I had to pee. This is nothing new. I always have to pee–often in inconvenient places like a freezing, snowy mountain trail. I held it for the half hour until we reached Pfänder. There, I used the bathroom while contemplating whether it would be worth the consequences to steal the piece of snow equipment sitting outside.
We arrived at the trailhead, where we were greeted by a map. Things I did not notice on the map: We were about to hike farther up the mountain.
Things I did notice on the map: the bright yellow sign informing us that the trail was not cleared.
And believe me: it was a slippery, snowy trail.
Tweet:
#thoughts while#hiking uphill in#snow: “I sure hope the fence I’m about to grab isn’t electric.”#alps
We walked past pens that were filled with snow and no animals. Clearly they were smart enough to stay inside their little shacks. We spotted some wild sheep with the biggest horns you’ve ever seen.
And every single sheep, goat, and friends that we came across shared the same expression: “What the fuck is wrong with those people?”
Instagram post: Us re: them: “cute!”; them re: us: “idiots.”
The snow seemed to get deeper as we went on. Fortunately, there was a narrow path cleared.
Tweet: Is it wrong that the best part of the first half of the
#hike was when I discovered#pralines in my coat pocket?
Here’s the thing: no matter how cold it is outside, if you’re trudging up a mountain in the snow, it gets damn Hot. Like, topless man covering his body in snow in a parking lot Hot. Off comes the hood, then the hat, and then you’re unzipping your coat and getting rid of your scarf.
Tweet: The higher you hike in the
#snow, the more you’re peeling off layers#itsalmostmardigras#alps#hiking
When we came to the clearing at the top of the mountain, the rain had mostly lifted and the view was nothing short of breathtaking. Even a seven-year-old stops playing with snowballs to take it in.
Tweet: My 7-year-old atop the
#alps – “look at that view!”#proudmama#doingsomethingright#hiking
When we’d begun our trek down by the parking lot, we passed a restaurant. We were considering returning to the restaurant once we got back, but by now it was lunchtime and we were starving. Paul pointed out signs to a restaurant.
Oh, the Pfänderdohle Gasthaus was open, all right, and it was, colloquially speaking, amazeballs. I had one of the best desserts of my life that day: the Topfenschaumnockerl.
As we walked back, I could feel every pound of food I’d just consumed.
Tweet: Wondered what bird was making that chirp. It was my snowpants rubbing together.
#thunderthighs#hiking
The crazy thing is, the Wildpark trail ran into another trail toward the top. There were quite a few people hiking up the mountain, with their nordik poles and hiking gear. Seriously, you can’t keep these people inside.
Austria just seems to be a place where I find my face frozen.
