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Yesterday, my husband and I had to conduct a business transaction that involved spending a couple of hours with a saleswoman. During the course of conversation, she talked about her wife and son.
She mentioned their son’s traveling baseball team. Then she went on to tell us a story about their experience visiting Youngstown, Ohio.
She and her wife were in line at the grocery store. A woman began harassing them for being “together”. When the harassment didn’t let up, the cashier called the manager to come intervene. He took the bigoted woman away – “Let me help you over here.”
For me, this incident brings two issues to mind:
1) This bigot left there having been accommodated. I get it—the store doesn’t want someone causing a scene. Still, the bigot received special treatment and she likely did not leave feeling ashamed of her actions. Her bigotry was accommodated.
2) The problem with the “Oh, it’s just that one person who’s a bigot” argument.
This particular woman was a bigot, yes.
But she felt comfortable enough in her surroundings to display her bigotry. She felt comfortable enough in her environment to publicly express her bigotry. She wasn’t embarrassed to openly express her bigotry in a public environment.
She was being a bigot in a place where she felt comfortable being a bigot.
Those in her environment either openly support and reinforce her views, or they stay silent and tacitly reinforce her views.
That takes more than one bigot.
Accepting bigotry is either prioritizing the comfort of bigots over the safety and comfort of those being targeted, or prioritizing your comfort with bigots over the potential discomfort of rocking the boat.
Either way, you’re showing which matters more to you.
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