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I don’t know that I should be writing about this before I fully collect my thoughts, but people should be aware of the contraption on which I found myself tonight.
When I first sat down on this toilet, I noticed some whirring taking place underneath me. Later, when Paul used the toilet, he was, of course, standing. That’s when he began reading aloud the instructions. After he flushed the toilet (which is akin to inserting a toner cartridge into a Xerox machine), I rushed back in to try it out. I sat down.
I pushed a button.
Water shot directly up my ass.
I shrieked. Immediately following the cleansing, heat began blowing on my rear end. It felt like a hair dryer.
I decided to adjust, to see if there was a better angle for this process. Water shot up my hoo-hoo and then the dryer blasted me.
I then realized that the length of squirt time had differed for each test. I naturally wondered what would happen if I held the button down instead of just pushing it.
Water shot up my regions again, then turned from a pleasant warm to an ice cold. Immediately followed by the blast of hot air, which felt very odd after the ice cold spray on my bits.
In conclusion, I feel clean, violated, and excited to see what tomorrow brings.
Oh, I wish I’d been there. I would have, however, peed my pants long before I got anywhere near the toilet.
I don’t know how I forgot this part, but each time I used it, the warm water made me pee again.