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German summer festivals last from a few days to a week or so. Trucks roll into town and crews begin erecting giant rides that you’re not comfortable riding in a permanent amusement park, let alone on a contraption carted in last week. Here are just a few of the rides you couldn’t pay me to ride for even one spin. It’s German engineering at its most frightening. Below are the TOP 9 CRAZY GERMAN FESTIVAL RIDES YOU COULDN’T PAY ME TO GO ON:
The Giant-Ass Swings
Sure, all carnivals have swings, right? But are they so tall that they tower above the trees? This one is.
This spinning thing
The taller of the clocklike rotating arms, this one spinning your seat while the rotating arm spins you as you tower above buildings.
The Top Spin
Because the top spins. It tumbles a few rows of people head over heels, taking them above the trees, and then rotates down to dangle them upside-down in fountains of water spraying up at them. Presumably to wash away the vomit spewing from their mouths.
See it in action:
[wpvideo bn85UQk1]
The spider-like “Voodoo Jumper”
This one bounces you up and down at great speeds while you’re spinning, while it’s spinning. In case teacups are too mild for you.
5. “The Burner”
Yet another rotating, spinning, tall ride. The Burner spins you in your seat, while spinning the end of the rotating arm, while rotating.
“The Shake”
This one tumbles your seat while spinning the set of seats while rotating on the platform. All to the background of oldies. Charming.
See it in action:
[wpvideo zdVwKJAU]
The 13-story tower that drops you
Thirteen.Stories.
See it in action:
[wpvideo PVFODtqQ]
This shorter spinning ride for the smaller passengers
The smaller one – you know, to wean your way up to the towering rides. Not happening.
ANOTHER DAMN SPINNING RIDE
Wildly spinning the end of the rotating arm as the arm swings back and forth.
See it in action:
[wpvideo 5ErivQlk]
As you may have noticed, most of the offenders come to town during Heinerfest. My first visit to Heinerfest is described here.
[…] I continue to blog as often as possible, although current travel has delayed some posts. Recent updates include a London trip and the Top 9 Crazy German Festival Rides You Couldn’t Pay Me to Go on. […]
[…] I continue to blog as often as possible, although current travel has delayed some posts. Recent updates include a London trip and the Top 9 Crazy German Festival Rides You Couldn’t Pay Me to Go on. […]
This is brilliant! I’m a rollercoaster fiend, love fairground rides and get a total buzz off most of the ones you mention but seriously, the one that looks the tamest, those giant-ass swings, dear god, they are the most terrifying thing I’ve ever been on. For some reason I’ve been on on two separate occasions, and I just spend the whole time convinced it was going to break and I’d go flying off into the sunset/river/middle of the road under a truck. Never, ever again.
The swings are the most frightening no doubt! I just stood there wondering how far someone’s swing would go flying if it snapped. No.way.
I love your blog! I grew up in Dieburg/Gross-Zimmern. When I was a kid I couldn’t wait for Heiner Fest and Schloss-Garten Fest. I forgot how insane the rides are:)
The Schlossgartenfest is coming in a week and a half! Dieburg is a great place to grow up–my daughter is in the elementary school here and after two years of getting used to Germany, she loves it (and so do we!). Thanks for reading!
also, if you’re feeling nostalgic, here’s an old post with a lot of pictures from Dieburg: Dieburg in Photos